This resource draws on survivor disclosure guidance, domestic violence resources, and Christian pastoral guidance. It helps survivors prepare factual notes, identify the support they need, and communicate boundaries before speaking with a pastor.
A Foundational Tool Created to Support Your Bravery
If you are preparing to speak with your pastor about emotional abuse, coercive control, or behavior you are struggling to name, finding the words can feel overwhelming.
I know what it is to need help while still depending on the person causing harm. During the years I describe in The Captive’s Psalm, physical dependence and a long surgical recovery left me needing care as my husband’s behavior escalated. Recognizing what was happening did not mean I could simply change my circumstances.
I needed people to hear what was happening without turning the conversation into a measure of my forgiveness, patience, or faith.
That experience is why I created Before I Meet With My Pastor.
Choose The Support You Need Today
Quick Meeting Guide · 3 pages
A place to gather a few facts, identify the help you need, and find words for your boundaries. It may suit you if you are beginning to recognize concerning behavior or want focused preparation for one conversation.
Expanded Companion · 8 pages
More space to describe recurring patterns, prepare for spiritual pressure, and ask what support will remain if harmful behavior continues. Use whichever pages help; you do not need to finish it.
Both are free, printable, and fillable.
[Download the Quick Meeting Guide]
[Download the Expanded Companion]
These guides cannot promise how someone will respond. My hope is that they make it a little easier to ask for help without losing hold of what you know happened.
You can care about another person, acknowledge your own failures, and still need protection from their choices. Grace leaves room for truth and accountability.
You do not have to explain everything today to begin. 🤍
