Following God’s Calling When My Heart Is Torn
I feel God is calling me to move back to the Shore City, again. I am seeing the reasons why, but I am also conflicted by the greater distance this puts between me and the children, their schools, their worlds. It is a commutable distance, and a lovely commute. I don’t need to know why, but my flesh wants to demand answers. Of course, we want the easy way, a direct path to the promised land, one that avoids any wandering in any desert. Oh, Lord, help me.
Walking by Faith Into the Unknown
His promises are written in my heart. He has never failed me. Every journey from Word to Promise is a walk of blind steps upon deep waters, every step taken on Faith. It is scary, and such an experience to watch Him work, meeting us step by step, never letting us drown.
I understand why trusting a big promise that asks us to take giant leaps into the unknown is something we don’t like. We humans like certainty. We want to know that if we reach out, we won’t be rejected. We want to see steady ground where we are being asked to step. We have grown up living by sight, trusting only what we can see, as this world and this life have taught us to do.
Zakhar: Remembering God’s Faithfulness
Learning to leap into the unknown takes time. It is trust He builds by His faithfulness. Just as we learned to hear His voice by reading His word, we learn to confidently trust that voice through the promises He keeps.
Just as the Israelites were instructed to in the desert, we must also “zakhar”—remember. Through practicing Sabbath, we must be intentional in remembering the ways He has been faithful to us so that we may step out in confidence and courage where He calls.
Remember, L, that He has met you in the wilderness. That He has rescued you. That He has met you with undeserved grace time after time.
The hand-stitched core that holds your spine in place is His miracle. Remember when He brought you to walk on quartz sand beaches, strengthening that core with every mile, erasing the pain spoken over your future. You are living the pain-free life you were told you’d never live.
Remember the children you were told you would never have. The beautiful song He sang that freed you from a torment that had gone on for five years.
Trusting God in the Wilderness: He Has Met Me Here Before
I don’t have to be strong. I don’t have to be able. He will make the way. He will honor His promises.
I may not understand this part of the journey. It may feel like I am walking towards Midian rather than the Promised Land. But He has met me in the wilderness before.
Blessed are we who see what others have not seen and hear what others cannot hear.
